Marriage is the union of man and woman to create a family. It is one of
the most important aspects of human life as the evolution of man in the modern
society ranging from the birth of children to the way they are raised to be
responsible adults is fundamentally as a result of marriage. However marriage
is not always a happy or fruitful union, sometimes it may turn out bizarre and
the parties may not agree on certain issues in their marriage life which may
eventually lead to separation. This separation has come to be known as divorce.
Divorce may legally be defined as the legal separation of man and wife that is
made effective by the judgment of a court by either totally dissolving the
marriage relation or suspending its effects so far as concerning the cohabitation
of the parties.1 in the following
paragraphs of this exquisite piece of writing, I will focus on some of the
types of divorce, the Rwandan law perspective and the international perspective
on divorce, some of the consequences of divorce and how divorce conflicts can
Divorce has very many types and
the following are some of those types of divorce;
In this type of divorce, the
separation is not based on the fault made buy one of the parties. The reasons
for acquiring the divorce may be as simple as incompatibility and simple
differences between the spouses. The spouses simply agree on separating and it
does not necessitate the spouses to show the cause of their divorce.
This is the kind of divorce
whereby the spouses reach an agreement to legally end the marriage. They also agree
on the issues regarding financial issues, division of property and children.
This kind of divorce usually
takes place in marriages that are of short duration where there are no children
and the property to be divided between the spouses is very few.
This type of divorce is more like
legal separation whereby the spouses live separately and cannot have sexual
relations. It gives them time to reach an agreement on division of property,
child custody and alimony.2
GENERAL CAUSES OF
Extra-marital affairs are
responsible for the breakdown of most marriages that end in divorce. The reasons why people cheat aren’t
as cut and dry as our anger may lead us to believe. Anger and resentment are
common underlying reasons for cheating, along with differences in sexual
appetite and lack of emotional intimacy. Infidelity
often begins as a seemingly innocent friendship, says cheating expert Ruth
Houston. “It starts as an emotional affair which later becomes a physical
Money makes people funny, or so
the saying goes, and it’s true. Everything from different spending habits
and financial goals to one spouse making
considerably more money than the other, causing a power struggle can strain a
marriage to the breaking point. “Money really touches everything. It impacts
people’s lives,” said Emmet Burns, brand marketing director for SunTrust.
Clearly, money and stress do seem to go hand in hand for many couples.
3. Lack of communication
Communication is crucial in
marriage and not being able to communicate effectively quickly leads to
resentment and frustration for both, impacting all aspects of a marriage. On
the other hand, good communication is the foundation of a strong marriage. Yelling at your spouse, not talking enough throughout the day,
making nasty comments to express yourself are all unhealthy methods of
communication that need to be ditched in a marriage. Practicing mindful
communication, to change age-old marriage mistakes, can be hard but it’s well
worth the effort to improve and save your relationship.
4. Constant arguing
From bickering about chores to
arguing about the kids; incessant arguing kills many relationships. Couples who seem to keep having the same argument over again
often do so because they feel they’re not being heard or appreciated. Many find
it hard to see the other person’s point of view, which leads to a lot of
arguments without ever coming to a resolution.
5. Weight gain
It may seem awfully superficial
or unfair, but weight gain is a common reason for divorce. In some cases a
significant amount of weight gain causes the other spouse to become less
physically attracted while for others, weight gain takes a toll on their
self-esteem, which trickles into issues with intimacy.
6. Unrealistic expectations
It’s easy to go into a marriage
with lofty expectations; expecting your spouse and the
marriage to live up to your image of what they should be. These expectations
can put a lot of strain on the other person, leaving you feeling let down and
setting your spouse up for failure.3
PERSPECTIVE ON DIVORCE
The law has also simplified procedures for divorce to
prevent gender-based violence, according to officials.
“The procedures for divorce were simplified. This is to
prevent a spouse from being harmed by the other while waiting for the court to
decide on the matter,” said Jean Pierre Kayitare, the deputy attorney-general
in charge of legislative drafting services at the Ministry of Justice.4
218: Grounds for divorce Any of the spouses may apply for divorce on one of the
following grounds: 1° adultery; 2° desertion for a period of at least twelve
(12) consecutive months; 3° conviction for an offense severely tainting the
honour; 4° refusal to provide for the household needs; 5° excess, abuse or
serious insults by one towards another; 6° gender based violence; 7° de facto
separation for a period of at least two (2) years; 8° non-cohabitation for more
than twelve consecutive (12) months from the day of celebration of marriage on
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